Well, this week has brought more lessons and reminders of what is important and what matters less, day to day I get to live with what matters most. My 12 year old is very important; he is the baby, my last child at home and I must admit I am very resistant to him growing up. He makes me laugh and smile more than any other person on this planet and he still loves his mom and wants to hang out with me. He still wants me to come say good night to him and tuck him in at night, shhhhh don’t tell anyone. This I absolutely treasure right now. My older kids that I love and adore, have grown up and moved out to live their lives and I miss them daily but I know this is a normal part of life. I try to give them the space to live their lives without being “that mother” who smothers and doesn’t let go well. But I am beyond grateful to have this amazingly positive, funny, sweet, engaging boy that still thinks his mom is awesome and wants to hang out. We had a mother/son day date planned last weekend and we decided to go to a movie since the forecast showed rain. We had a great time, no drama, no annoyances, just fun and smiles and a little rain that we very much need in CA. Then we went to get some food because every 12 year old eats hourly and whatever isn’t nailed down. He makes me remember what matters, what is so amazing throughout each day. I am beyond grateful that I had a child almost 11 years after my first because now I have somone very special that gets me all to himself. He asked me for years to have a baby sister or brother and because someone has to be last, I gave him a puppy instead. Emmy our sweet little Chiweenie that is the perfect sibling for him. They are best friends and as close to siblings as he can possibly get… she waits for him when he gets home by the door, is his shadow when he moves around the house, sits with him while he plays his computer games and sleeps on his bed every night. How very blessed are we to have this amazing sweet little pup join our family and steal our hearts.
I recently was reminded of having a MySpace account that I had forgotten about because after all it is all about Facebook now, right? So I managed somehow to remember my log-in information and found an amazing array of photos from years ago that I had forgotten about. Days of younger times and the fondness I feel about some of these, words cannot describe. Back when the kids were younger, Brady in some was 4 or 5. Amazing how a photo can instantly take you back, feeling as if you were there in that moment.
As time passes, the years have added up behind us instead of in front of us, looking back and reflecting always brings perspective. I find that I don’t have regrets persay but rather missing moments in time that cannot be re-lived again. Photos don’t do enough but they do help transport one back in time. I find myself looking ahead thinking about all that is yet to come on this journey called life and look forward to more birthdays, more Mother’s Day’s with my children, becoming a grandmother, watching my youngest son learn to drive, to learn to date then graduate from high school. I also find that talking to my parents more about their childhood memories, our childhood memories has become more important. I want to capture everything like it is a video camera that can play it all back.
I have so much to be grateful for and feel so tremendously blessed.
Gratitude Abundance! My mantra for 2014!